One month – one month until I’m on a plane to begin a whole new chapter of my life. In all honestly, it feels like it could be a whole new book. I almost don’t recognize the life I had – the person, or girl, I was, even two years ago. I feel like I’m finally done living my life inauthentically. I feel as if I didn’t even know who I was enough to live my life authentically. What was important to me. What I truly value. The woman I want to be.
I’m not saying I have all the answers now. If nothing else, the journey I’m about to embark upon will require an even deeper exploration of self and a more intense phase of discovery. But one thing I have now – something I never truly possessed before – is confidence. And faith. And clarity. What I know now with all my heart is that the next steps I’m taking are exactly the ones that will lead me to my greatest joy and to fulfillment of my purpose. No matter WHERE they physically lead me. I am not afraid. And that feels amazing.
I know it sounds cliche (but as I’ve always said, cliches are cliches for a reason) but sitting here this morning, with the sun streaming in and the bare trees begging for Spring, I am truly overcome with gratitude for all the challenges that have brought me to this place. And there have been many in the past four years. Moving to a new city knowing no one. A job that was probably an ill fit from the start. A break up that forced me to tear open some old wounds and come face to face with my patterns and internal dialogue. A not so pleasant health scare. A crisis (more than one) of faith. I struggled. A lot. I questioned. A lot. I cried. A LOT. But I also persevered and practiced and prayed and listened a lot. I now have tools, skills, guides, and support, both external and internal, like I’ve never had before. So I am ready and excited to start Chapter One as a different author.