If I’m completely honest, I’m relieved that Facebook blocked me from my live 4:30pm Self Reflection Sunday chat today. Up until 4:27pm, I was prepping dinner, cutting vegetables thinking to myself What the hell am I going to say? I didn’t want to ignore the pink elephant in the room – my recent piece on depression and suicide that I posted yesterday. Some of you may have read it, others maybe not. Regardless, I felt a responsibility to talk about it and quite frankly, I didn’t want to. I didn’t know where the self reflection topic came in. Should we self reflect about depression? That seemed morbid. Self reflect on vulnerability? Brene Brown has cornered that market and done it so, SO well I’d only be regurgitating her wisdom. I’m done reflecting for the time being. I spent days, weeks, months reflecting and I’m tired. I just wanted to BE for a while.
Yet, I took a deep breath and bucked up, grabbed myself a diet cream soda (my version of a glass of wine), put on some pink hued lip balm and sat down, figuring something would come to me. Maybe I’d discuss my not wanting to discuss and that would be okay. Lo and behold, access denied. Relief granted.
Here’s the thing. Clearly, I don’t have a problem being on camera. I enjoy it and seem to be good enough at it. But when it comes to the very personal, vulnerable details of my life, I draw a line where the pen hits the paper. I feel called to use personal story to inspire others and hopefully ignite them to make positive changes for themselves. I love to write. I know that because I can sit here all night, forget to eat and write, write and write. Words pour through my fingertips on to the page whether I’m typing or writing longhand. While it’s not without its challenges, much of the time, writing is effortless for me.
Effortless would not be the word I use to describe my Facebook Live segments. I’ve struggled over what to say, what the right words are. What people might want to hear. I feel somewhat uneasy talking about more serious topics on camera. I did it because someone I respect suggested it, convincing me it’s a great tool to build my audience and I know he’s right. I know video is the way to go to market yourself or your product on social media. And it got me out of my comfort zone. By the third or fourth video, I wasn’t so stressed about it and I did begin to feel more at ease. I’m glad I tried it and grateful for my friend’s direction.
But here’s the thing. I like to write. Not bullet lists, not top ten stories, not how to succeed at something in so many easy steps. No, I get off on detailed, insightful and sometimes lengthy stories and musings. I love the written word. I realize this will not make me the most popular person on Facebook. Frankly, I don’t care anymore. While I may utilize live video if compelled to do so, from here on out, I’ll be divulging whatever wisdom and truth bombs I have via script. It’s my thing. So if you like to read, I’m your gal. (Or maybe listen – I’m strongly considering launching my book via audio files.)
But I understand if it’s not. No hard feelings. It’s why they make chocolate and vanilla ice cream. (Personally, I’m a vanilla ice cream with hot fudge girl. See? Never easy with me.) We all communicate and learn differently. And that’s a beautiful thing.
By the way, I’m still not sure what the self – reflection question is. How about we self reflect on why we need to self reflect? Or maybe we just give it a break.
March 20, 2017 at 1:05 am
Funny how we can manifest things. I mean that positively. Good for you! for putting yourself out there in the video format. I do enjoy seeing the dance videos as well, as I scroll through FB.. Also, I would enjoy an audio version of your book. I tend to order digital books and the audio-version to listen on a plane, ride to work etc. take care and do what ever is working for you!
LikeLike
March 20, 2017 at 4:51 pm
Thanks for the support Marti! Sending love.
LikeLike
March 20, 2017 at 1:46 am
I stumbled across your blog when I checking out Chris Freytag’s website. I read your bio from the section on the instructors and found your blog and I am glad I did. You remind me that I never know what someone might be struggling with and to treat people with kindnes. Your honesty about you and your struggles strike a cord with me. When you say you need hugs, I wish I lived closer and knew you so I could give you a hug. You make me think of things that on my own I wouldn’t think of. Please write your story, I will read it. Please continue your blog and journey, I know it is a worthwhile journey–everyone’s is. I will read your blog and thank you for sharing.
LikeLike
March 20, 2017 at 4:52 pm
Hug received virtually. 🙂 Thank you Karen for writing and I’m so glad my story struck a chord. Love.
LikeLike
March 20, 2017 at 3:06 am
Your blog post was beautifully written and very powerful. I cannot relate to what you were / are feeling but very glad that you are here and sharing your thoughts and wish you the best!
LikeLike
March 20, 2017 at 4:51 pm
Thank you Eric.
LikeLike
July 3, 2017 at 12:47 pm
Facebook deactivated my account more than a week ago.
Without any warning or explanation.
So what?
First thing I felt was: I need to talk to someone about it.
I could not do it on Facebook.
Frustrating, isn’t it…?
Funny, mainly.
I had been active, there, very active, for nearly four years.
And they would not re-activate my account without me first sending them some copy of official element, “in order to prove my identity”, Orwell’s “1984”-like style maneuver I can only react to with a: FUCK OFF !
Now, I simply don’t care anymore, and what I think about FB merely is:
Go-To-Hell-You-Morons
LikeLike